Lee "Scratch" Perry is one of the two or three greatest reggae producers of all time. He is also almost certainly certifiably insane, in ways that can sometimes be kind of hilarious (praying to bananas, claiming to be from outer space) and sometimes disturbing (drinking gasoline, burning down his studio). There are thousands of great Lee Perry stories, but my absolute favorite is this one.
In 1980, Paul McCartney was caught trying to enter Japan with a quarter kilo of marijuana in his luggage. He was arrested and thrown in jail. When Perry heard about this, he sprang to action immediately, composing the following telegram:
(From)
Ark of the Covenant
5 Cardiff Crescent Dr.
Kingston, Jamaica
Air White Smoke Signal
Earth Moon Base
Juda Only Law House
Israel Light House
(To)
Minister of Justice
1-1-1 Kasumigaseki
Chiyoda-Ku
Tokyo, Japan
Dear Sirs,
I LEE PIPECOCK JACKSON PERRY would LOVE to express my concern over your consideration of one quarter kilo to be an excessive amount of herbs in the case as it pertains to master PAUL MCCARTNEY.
As a creator of nature's LOVE, light, life and all things under the creation sun, positive feelings through songs, good times and no problems. I find the Herbal powers of marijuana in its widely recognized abilities to relax, calm and generate positive feelings a must.
Herbs is his Majesty's. All singers positive directions and liberty Irations. Please do not consider the amount of herbs involved excessive.
Master PAUL MCCARTNEY's intentions are positive.
(Signed)
Baby Blue Green Star
Pipecock Jackson
Lee "Scratch" Perry
Banana I Pen JA
Natures Love Defender
There are so, so many things to love about this message, but I think its ultimate charm lies in Perry's fundamental point, which isn't "Paul McCartney is innocent" or even "marijuana should be legal," but rather, "Come on guys, a quarter kilo? That's hardly enough to make a fuss over."
These things are relative, of course.
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